Today I am going to get real with you about overachievers. And hint – we do not want achievements.
Let’s start with the problem most overachievers face:
- They are doing soooooo much that they can get overwhelmed
- They are task saturated
- They overcommit to people
- They people please
- They put others and things over themselves
- They fear incompetence and inadequacy
- They fear failure
- They probably have anxiety
- They like to be busy but cannot balance it
With such a problem-set ahead of them, overachievers keep on achieving it seems. They kick ass at life.
What they don’t kick ass at is taking care of themselves. They also are not really happy.
- I got 5 things for you.
- To be successful aka to be fulfilled
- To be happy aka to be peaceful
- To be famous aka to be seen/heard/leave a mark/make an impact
- To be rewarded aka to be valued/appreciated
- To be esteemed aka supported/worthy
- To be busy (AKA to be productive/useful)
Let me now parse these out a bit more and how these might look. BUT, overachievers chase achievements to get these things, but they are actually just filling a gap in desires. They will say they want something but let’s dig into the deeper root today.
To be Successful:
Overachievers CRAVE success. They don’t even know what that really means but damn it they want it. They want the fame, the fortune, the competition, the prestige. They want it all but don’t really know what they want. What they really want is to be fulfilled. So, even though they say success… they are measuring it based on outward things. They want to feel like they left a mark on life and kicked ass. They want to be fulfilled.
To be Happy:
Again, in line with success, the overachiever wants happiness which they think is from achievement. BUT little do they know that they really want to be peaceful and out of their heads. They want internal calm and stasis.
To be Famous:
this one makes me laugh; but most overachievers have big dreams of notoriety. However, what they really want is to make an impact and be SEEN/HEARD. They want to be seen as someone who has great ideas.
To get Rewarded:
But really, they want to be valued. They want appreciation. They desire to be liked and appreciated. Overachievers just want to be valued.
To be Esteemed:
Really they want to be worthy of others and supported. Esteem and High rank are well and good, but what they really want is to feel worthy. To feel supported.
To be Busy:
We actually want to be useful and productive. Productive does not equal busy though.
Now, how do I come into this? Well, with my 1:1 coaching program we target exactly this problem-set. We target the overachiever who is just feeling lack and feeling unfulfilled and does not know why.
We start filling these core desires and we do it in a unique way that really gets to these core wants.
How? We ditch the title overachiever and get real.
In phase 1 of coaching, I get to know you, and you get to know you. We figure out what really drives you. We slow down. A lot of programs try to dive in and get you to change ASAP, but those actions will just be another thing you try to achieve.
An overachiever needs the time to reacquaint themselves with themselves. They need the space to really not achieve anything but their own self knowledge.
That is what makes me program unique. 1:1 coaching starts there. Then, we start building out actions to fix ANYTHING.
But, we cannot fix when we don’t know the root cause.
My guess is the root cause of your unhappy is not that you are not successful.
It is probably that you are chasing the wrong achievement. You are chasing someone else’s’ dream, not your own.
Let’s fix that bull shit together.
Alright… check out my 1:1 Coaching HERE!