It’s not about saying no to other’s its about saying YES TO YOU!
I hear a lot of people tell me that they struggle with saying no. They feel this immense guilt when they start to put themselves first, even if inside they are screaming NO NO NO NO HELL NO.
So, I want to have this discussion today around boundaries and what that means because it is REALLY important to self-care and burning out.
I will say this once:
We can NEVER fully realize our desires when we keep denying what we want for others.
We will get no where if we keep doing that.
I often hear people say: Well, I will be a BAD FRIEND if I say no; they will HATE ME if I say no; I will PISS EVERYONE OFF if I say no; I will break some super secret SOCIAL RULE if I say no.
Here are a couple of truths:
1) Has someone said no to you about plans, and how long did you remember that? Did you hold them to some hate in your head? Probably not.
2) Is it better to show up when you want to or to show up angry? Think about it. Your energy is always less when you show up and are ANGRY about it.
3) You are literally doing something your gut says no to anyway, out of what? Proving someone wrong?!
4) You cannot control how people feel ever.
5) Saying no last minute because you burnout will piss off people more. Having boundaries, and simply saying: no I do not have time or no… without an excuse …. Should not rub people the wrong way. And if it does, are they the right people in your life?
So, a big quote I live by:
I am saying yes to me not no to others.
How does that feel to say!?
Think about how often you say no to your self. Imagine if you turned that into your thoughts about others. OMG you would be a horrible person by your standards, right!?
Start saying yes to what you want. Stop focusing on the no.
Start focusing on the yes.